The Boston BeanAtorium

Comments from the Waterfront by Colleen A. Kelley Ó 2004  Email: cak43@aol.com

Dear Friend (by Gizmo MacDougal, Special To The BeanAtorium)                                                                                                                                                                  

Do you ever get those emails from a person of the foreign persuasion who claims to have access to a shiite load of money due to a personal tragedy of an acquaintance and he has chosen you to be the recipient of a portion of that money if you help him get it out of the designated  country? All you have to do is provide contact information and you are as good as set for life (in a concrete suit). To the unaware, of which their are many, while you are writing out your deposit slip, your bank account is being siphoned of all your hard earned money. I have been getting those emails for a few years now. They must be working because they are still making the rounds in one form or another. (If they weren't working, would they still be showing up in email boxes everywhere?)

 

I've decided to put one together myself and see if I get anything out of it. Here it goes.

 

Dear friend - (if I said dear foe, that would automatically turn people off and cause a quick rush to the delete button.)

 

You should consider this to be your very lucky day because I have chosen you to be the recipient of this email and an incredible one of a kind deal. But first, let me introduce myself. My name is Gizmo MacDougal and I am a trained professional.  (I am using a made up name here so as not to give myself away as I will have the feds a knock, knock, knocking at my door before I even hit the send button) I am writing to you today because I have nothing better to do and don't want to bother any of my real friends with such a nonsense email.

 

On the twelfth of May 1953, I was born into this world and from all reports I am still here walking this good green earth in search of all things good. However, it was my intention to be a very rich person by this age but good fortune and the lottery have not yet cooperated. I work very hard at several jobs and although I do not want for anything and I can pay my bills (when I remember to) I feel I have not gotten my fair share of monetary value out of my effort.

 

After several failed attempts at extortion and counterfeiting (who knew Ben Franklin never had a crew cut?) I am going to take a different approach to adding to my bankroll and I want you to help me. For your help, I will relieve you of a higher tax bracket and the worry that an unstable stock market brings. All you have to do is transfer whatever funds, US currency only, please - that you wish to unburden yourself with into my pay pal account and I will take it from their. We don't have to go thru the awkwardness of a phone call or a meeting nor the exchange of other personal information. The whole transaction will take the amount of time it took you to read this email and then send me your funds.

 

Your generosity will get my eternal gratitude and perhaps a thank you note. Maybe I'll even send you my latest booklet.

 

Thank you for reading this and I hope to get an email from pay pal soon notifying me that you have made a deposit into my account.

 

Best Regards -

 

Gizmo

 That is all I have to report at this time.

Colleen A. Kelley Ó 2001 - 2004

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