"Once those words get all bunged up, it's like the complete stoppage of a real important artery or something" Ms. Landers personal physician, Dr. Doogie Howser Kildare, told reporters. Ms. Landers would have turned 84 on 4 July of this year.

Ms. Landers, twin sister of Pauline Esther Friedman PoPo Abigail Van Buren Dear Abby Phillips, began her advice career on 16 October 1955, more than 40 years ago. Upon the advice of the famed psychic Mavis Davis of the Psychic Babbling Network, she sought out advice for a very personal problem. Not finding a source for advice except from a $200 per hour shrink, she decided it was time to provide the advice or the "economical shrinkage" as she often put it, herself. "Folks with worries can get my attention and seek advice for the cost of a postage stamp. That is in almost anybody's budget." Her official self proclaimed title was "Shrink Wrapper."

She classified herself as a good listener but what she really was, was a good reader. Her readers wrote to her for advice and she read the letters. Her readers did not call her and verbally request advice. I hope she had an editor proofing her columns so she didn't write things she really didn't mean but I doubt it. In 1993, she was taken to task for calling the Pope a Pollack. Hey, she called a spade a spade. What's wrong with that? Jews are Heebs, Italians are Wops and the Stones are Micks. Get over it.

A World Almanac poll once named Ann Landers as the most influential woman in the United States. Ms. Landers chalked this up to the loyal readership she had reading her every word. "I discovered early on that I would have the most success if I wrote a column that could be read in it's entirety in the time it takes the average person to make a bathroom visit. If they have a bout of diarrhea, they could also read my sisters column as well."

Ms. Landers was born in Sioux City, Iowa of Russian immigrant parents, 17 minutes before her sister, Dear Abby. This infuriated Dear Abby so much the two sisters didn't speak to each other until they were almost a year old. It is believed the two had 2 older sisters of the non-writing, non-advice persuassion.

Both girls dropped out of college senior year to get married in identical wedding gowns in a double ceremony. For years it was rumored that both girls married the same man but it was never proved, even though both husbands were never seen in the same place at the same time.

When Dear Abby was notified of her sisters death she said, "Hmmm. She always has to be the first to do everything."

Ms. Landers, who was divorced from her husband, is survived by a daughter Margo Howard. Ms. Landers son in law is actor Ken Howard who was televisions "White Shadow." There were also some grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Ms. Landers requested cremation and no funeral service. The rumor that her ashes will be mixed with printers ink and used in the printing of one last Ann Landers column has not been verified.

R.I.P., Eppie